Strangers

Have you ever met someone who knew you well, but you couldn't recall a previous encounter? How about the person whose life was so close to yours at one point that you can't believe your paths never crossed? Or the person you try to avoid like the plague, yet seems to end up in your face all the time?

I've had all of these in my life, and each one recently. I'm always uncomfortable when people know me from newspaper articles or news stories (my previous life was often public). Sometimes I fear because of negative attitudes from certain people. But I can't say anyone ever told me that once they met me I was nicer than they expected, or that they'd heard horrible things about me. There was just this uncalled for admiration that I was someone other people knew, and my own personal fears of course.

There was this other person who lived one block from me for twelve years. She walked past my house almost every day for her job. Yet I never knew her, though we shared some of the same friends. These fifteen years later we've met, found we have so much in common, and immediately became friends.

And there's the gentleman I avoided for nigh to ten years, who has been in my face through various circumstances over the past several weeks. These were not uncomfortable encounters, but ones that made me sit back and think why this person? And why so frequently lately?

And what will eternity be like? People we met by chance here and don't recall. People we met and wanted to get to know better. How about people we expected to see and can't find? Makes me sit back and ponder if these encounters are by chance after all. And what is their impression of me ~ good or bad? And how many will I spend eternity with...after all, eternity is a long time!

Poverty Simulation

It was called a simulation, and we all knew it was pretend, but emotions and reactions were real world. Our community hosted a poverty simulation and at the end all I could think was the old saying, "there but by the grace of God, go I."

In the simulation, I was the father with 2 young children. I learned that despite being fortunate to have a full time job in this simulation, I couldn't feed my family for half the month, I lost my children to the state for a week, and couldn't pay all my bills. I was frustrated that they didn't give us better instructions in the beginning, but someone pointed out that when we fall into the 'system,' there is no instruction book.

Others in the simulation were less fortunate. Some had no jobs, others had sick children, no food stamps, etc. I thought how fortunate I was to not be one of those families. Some resorted to crime, drugs, and lying, just to survive.

It all made me think about what we must do to survive, and how pious I get thinking how honest I am when someone gives me the wrong change in the store. I've never had to choose a lie vs. physical survival, or worse, survival for my children. I need to re-evaluate my absolute values when it comes to a system that traps people from the outset.

I thought about people who think they are helping those "less fortunate" when in reality they don't have a clue. I want all the people in my church who are involved with compassion ministries to go through this type of simulation. It wouldn't take long to figure out which ones are truly called. The simulation makes you realize it's more than just writing a check, though I believe there are those on earth that are given that desire and ability.

The event ended by handing out a sheet showing the actual poverty level in our community. I looked at my category (household of one) and looked at the needed income in relation to expenses. The expenses included housing subsidies, energy assistance, food stamps and the like. The minimum income was what I made last year. I managed to live on that amount of money without any public or private assistance. Again I thought, "there but by the grace of God...."

I don't share this to brag or draw sympathy, but to point out that it truly is only the grace of God that some people live by. What a privilege for me to have experienced that. The simulation was an affirmation of what I've felt drawn to do and the people I'm called to help.

Baby Steps

I am always amazed when the Lord opens doors for me and uses me. Last night I became aware of how sensitive I am to those baby steps in life; when I see progress in people or relationships and no one else around me gets it. In my youth, I was often accused of "beating a dead horse" because I just wouldn't give up, even when I should. Life taught me how unrealistic and exhausting that can be. I've come to realize of late that the optimism is still there though channeled better.

I believe that there is hope as long as there is breath. As long as there is hope, it is my obligation to show where that hope lies. I was so appreciative of the recent reminder that it isn't my job to "save" the world, but to plant the seeds so the Holy Spirit can work. As long as I reach out and love people, sharing God in a physical and/or spiritual sense, God can use me.

A week ago I felt I was alone on a battlefield because of people's judgment of others that I was feeling compassion toward. That experience taught me that it is a battlefield, but I'm not alone. I cannot believe that God has sent out support troops, and who those people are! Last night I saw progress, though small, with those people who were being judged a short week ago. I found myself not being concerned about what others thought of them, but just wanted to get to know them better. Until I know them, I can't share things with them. I don't know the language they talk (beyond English) and they need to know me to trust me. Years ago I would have been frustrated in my zealousness to not be further than I am in my witness. Today I appreciate the baby steps and see each and every one of them.

Joining the Right Century!

For those of you who've been doing this for years, I know you're saying, 'about time!' Haven't really felt a need to blog, but am thinking that it's time for me to share things with others, and I might as well do it in a modern way. While in Nevada, my mom lived on the original Pony Express Trail (mail actually traveled faster back then, than while she lived there!) I never thought something might be faster and easier than email, but I'm giving it a try. So, thanks for the info, support, and feedback I know many of you will give!

Postscript: Since I know some of you so well, so you don't have to ask the why behind the name: my name means Lioness and it's just me and the Lord!