The Gift

Today something happened that I think is worth sharing. I heard from a friend who’d been on my mind for a few days, but I hadn’t acted on it yet. He was offering me a weekend away and money (now whatever you are thinking, will tell you where your mind is truly at!)

But for it all to mean anything, I need to back up a little. I paid my bills recently and realized that with car and home insurance due two months in a row, I didn’t have much money. I could pay my bills, but I couldn’t buy food for a month. I know, I know. Many of you know how I felt led earlier this year to increase my tithe, and I have to confess that at times like this, it is tempting to reconsider. But I know stealing from God doesn’t work.

Someone asked me if I’ve ever gone to the food pantry. I laughed and said no. The one time I thought about going I heard very loudly, “I’ll supply ALL your needs.” (Yes, the “all” was very loud!) And every time I start to wonder or worry, I go over that verse, and in a short time, God reminds me that He is true to His Word!

That was today. What the friend was offering me was a long weekend away, all expenses paid, and a paycheck for helping with an event that he runs annually. I know some of the people who attend, I get to spend time with him and his wife who I haven’t seen in a few years, the location is close enough to make it manageable, and it worked into my work schedules. Now the weekend away alone was a Godsend. But to get paid on top of it all tells me that God’s word is good. You see, I’ll get paid enough to cover the few expenses I have (gas, a couple of meals, etc.), enough to give God His share, enough to buy food for the month I thought I’d have to live out of my cupboards, and enough to pay for my next class, which is due sooner than later. And all of this is in advance of when I need it. (He usually tests my faith until the last minute.)

Now I’m not looking down on people who need the food pantries. For me though, I’ve been told by God that my faith will get me through. I remember years ago hearing about George Mueller and wanting faith like his. That kind of faith comes with testing. I can’t say I like the testing, but I love the testimony in the end. That’s why I share this with you.

WWJD?

I’ve been realizing lately that the famous WWJD isn’t enough. It isn’t about what would Jesus do if He were in my shoes, but what would He think! After all, that’s where sin starts anyway, inside us. It isn’t the murder alone that’s the sin, but the thought of hatred. It’s lust, not rape that is against God.

I’ve been reading Philippians since late last year, and I recently ended up looking up the word “mind” in Strong’s. It’s used eight times in the little book, and only another 11 or so in the rest of the New Testament. Then I thought about how this New Testament church wasn’t being scolded for doing something out of line, but were told how to reach the next level of their faith.

I’ve got a lot more pondering to do on the subject, but I think whenever I see or her WWJD, I’ll be thinking deeper than that….

Ending Friendships

Years ago I had a friend who drank too much. She would always call me later in the day when her husband worked (he drove truck second shift). Well, by the time she called, she’d had a few too many drinks and it was a laborious conversation for me. Yet for some reason our friendship remained in tact. We had many conversations about God and why our attitudes on life were so different, yet she was never ready to take the one step she needed to.

Eventually I moved on (literally moved out of the area). Our phone conversations became less and less frequent, and I didn’t mind. I eventually stopped calling. Then one day out of the blue, she called me. I was on another line and promised to call her back, but I would either forget or dread the call so much that I’d postpone it. She had said something about being sick, but she tended to over-react to everything, in part because she was in such a miserable marriage.

I finally thought about calling her when I had the time and was in the right mood. It had been over a year, and it would be fun to surprise her. (Mind you my change in attitude was from deep inside…beyond my control.) Anyway, her husband answered the phone and in my teasing way made him guess who was calling, since we hadn’t talked in years. He was extremely somber; then told me that he really couldn’t guess; he was burying his wife that day.

Needless to say, my embarrassment and awkwardness seemed to last forever. The rest of the day, all I could think about was her last call to me. She had reached out and I was too busy. Where was she now that she’d left this world? Could I have made a difference? Was talking to a drunk really so bad in the light of eternity?

Now I know that she may have turned her life around and leaned on God. But I don’t know that she did. And even if she had and needed reassurance, I wasn’t there to give it. Nor was I there to comfort her in her last days. Instead I selfishly told myself that I didn’t need to hang out with alcoholics who were obnoxious when they drank. I learned that I never know that moment in a person’s life when they finally need someone and need to learn to trust God. I learned that 15 years of listening to stupid stories and someone’s self-induced problems didn’t compare to not knowing how she left this world.

So, when someone closes the door on me in our relationship, I can accept that. But I can’t close any doors that God doesn’t close, because I never know….