I had an interesting conversation with a friend last night, where she pointed out to me that, though she didn't think it was wrong, I certainly had a different way of conversing with God than she did. (I'd had an "argument" with Him this past week about how much hurt I thought I could take, and I was thinking of choosing my will against His in my life...He won.)
I guess I didn't realize that everyone didn't talk to God that way. But it certainly made sense. Some of the things people have said to me in the past started fitting together. God and I have our own way of conversing about many things.
This friend and I talked about how each of us has our own unique relationship with God, just like our relationship with every other person on the planet is unique. And that's some of the wonder of His creation.
I shared how I first discovered this "familiar" way of conversing with God. It was at least 20 years ago when I was so unexpectedly overcome with emotions from a lifetime of hurt, that I got downright angry with God. I penned and cried for what seemed like a very long time. I screamed (in my head at least) "why" over and over. And when I was done, I felt the physical exhaustion of being released from this tormenting past, but I also felt His comfort...His love...His patience...His understanding of how I felt. I realized God could take it all. And willingly did. And He wanted to give me His peace and love.
So when people tell me they are angry with God, I tell them it's all right. Because if we can't be honest with God and have that conversation with Him, we won't heal. Not everyone feels that type of emotion, but those who do, need to learn to talk to God in a way that they feel He's listening. Because we all know that when we feel we're being heard, we listen better ourselves.
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"This is God’s universe and He does things His way. You may have a better way but you don’t have a universe." -J. Vernon McGee
I'm pretty informal in the way I talk to God, too. And, like you, had that very frank conversation with him myself not too long ago. But I think it was very healing in the end. I think it's more the fact that you communicate with Him more than how.
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