Post Script to Sally

Okay, so I’ve calmed down in regard to Sally, but only because of what happened as the day progressed. 

I remained frustrated and upset for her sake that day, but every time she called (and it was often) I managed to calm her down, and patiently give her the list of things to do and of people to talk to.  Of course Sally did things her way like she always does, but somehow I was filled with patience and passed on the calm she needed.  (I claim no credit for this amazing feat!)

She finally got to my list of things and of course most of the public offices were closed that afternoon (it was Friday during budget cuts, after all.)  She let me know she was heading to an agency at the end of that day.  I asked her to have the staff person call me when she was done.

The staff person called me…it was almost time for her to head home.  Sally had been sent to see an apartment.  A landlord had one available and was willing to show it.  It seemed to be in Sally’s price range, and the agency could help with the first month’s rent.  (Sally’s money for the month was already gone.)  She also had a $25 Goodwill voucher if she needed anything.

Then Sally called me again.  She was frantic: what should she do?  She said I needed to tell her what to do.  I don’t tell people how to live their lives, but advise them on their choices and let them decide.  That’s all I can do.  I told her I’d call the landlord (who I’d talked with in the past.) 

The landlord had a small one bedroom, adequately furnished, available immediately.  It was upstairs which isn’t the easiest for Sally, though the stairs might be healthy for her.  Because we found out that day that Sally couldn’t get electric power due to a past bill, the landlord said she’d keep it in her name for an extra $25 a month until Sally could pay off her debt.  She would take the security deposit over time, as much as Sally could afford, until that obligation was met.  And she could move in that night.

Of course Sally took it.  No lease, no strings other than to get a payee.  This was such a generous offer.  So Sally had housing after four months.  No need to sleep in a shelter, her car, or even a motel room which was my last option.  She was safe and warm in a furnished apartment.  But that’s not the end of the story.

Monday came, and Sally did all the things I’d asked her to do on Friday. I found out about another debt she has – from what I call rip-off loan joints.  She will also go with me to work out her electric bill.  But then she apologized for her behavior.  Later in the day when I spoke with the agency that helped her Friday, I found out she went in and apologized to that person as well.  Something happened to Sally.  Everyone will have their opinion…having basic needs met gives us clearer thinking…God performed a miracle in her…none of us knows precisely what goes on in our heads and hearts.  I did found out that Sally spent some time with a friend (another client of ours who’d been near homeless last month) and this friend spent time praying with Sally and encouraging her over the weekend.  This I do know…when we love people…when we allow God to touch people through us… anything can happen.  

Angry About Sally

I’m angry today…in fact I’m very angry.  I don’t typically get this way, and I’m not angry at any individual,

but at the world I’m living in.  Some would say it’s a social injustice thing, while others like to argue what social justice is.  I’ll just say that I’m angry I live in a society that cares more about people’s “rights” than they do about their well-being.

A woman contacted me through our homeless organization about 4 months ago.  She is still homeless.  She sounds desperate.  She has been suicidal.  Yet no one can help her.  (Let’s call her Sally for sake of my ranting.)

Sally is receiving some type of disability.  When her mother died a few years back, she lost her payee.  She did fine for several years, but didn’t seek help until she had already made some bad choices that couldn’t be reversed.  She was on Section 8 for housing, and she canceled it.  To get housing assistance again will take years, so the disability check she was getting now needs to go further than ever before and I don’t believe she’s capable of the disbursement of those funds.

Sally was suicidal one day.  But the power the police had in the past to put someone in a safe place for evaluation has been removed.  They now need to work through another agency over the phone and THOSE people get to make the determination.  That was 3 months ago.  Sally is showing suicidal tendencies again.  Why call though when the “system” we’ve designated to protect people won’t respond to an out and out threat of killing oneself.  Since that encounter, she’s learned what words to use and not use to keep authorities at bay.  Yet by last night there were 3 different people/agencies which feared she was suicidal again.  (Yes, she was still here this morning.)

Sally can’t stay at a nearby shelter.  In part she didn’t want to follow the rules.  Her county doesn’t have a shelter, and the neighboring shelter won’t take anyone without a signature because Sally’s county “doesn’t pay their bills.”  Oh yes, and did I mention that there is only one person who can sign this piece of paper?  And she works banker’s hours?  I’m not criticizing her for her job, but again, a system that isn’t able to help people.

Her family?  I have never spoken to them.  But I think after decades of dealing with her in a broken system, they don’t know what to do for her.  They have families to take care of.  They can’t force her to behave in ways that are socially healthy and acceptable.  And we don’t know how broken the family may be to begin with.

Her church?  She doesn’t want to be a burden to a church that already ministers to more members who are victims of this economy than they can handle.  When people struggle with mental illness or mental shortcomings, the church doesn’t always know what to do or how to help them. Church isn’t forced on people in this country and God gives us free-will.  But sometimes I wonder how that applies to people not blessed with full mental capacity.

Sally found an apartment 3 months ago, but didn’t take it for whatever reason.  She doesn’t remember that today.  I can’t force her to move in anyplace, so have had to leave her homeless.  I tried to convince social security that she needs a protective payee so that the bills that will keep her safe and alive will be paid.  They said they would start the process.  Nothing has happened.  Sally doesn’t want to give up her “rights” to “her” money.  Forget the fact that it is the taxpayer’s money that she has been given to live on.  Forget the fact that there is no monitoring of that money.  But let’s make sure her “rights” are protected.  Meanwhile what will we (society and the system) say should Sally be found dead one day - Dead from exposure due to homelessness; or dead to suicide.  What will we do then?